Stop the negative self-talk that drains your energy

By | August 10, 2015 | Lifestyle & Personal Growth

Stop the negative self-talk that drains your energy | The Momiverse | Article by Beverly D. Flaxington

You may know someone who can’t wait to bring you down, burst your bubble and elaborate on a bad situation. Sometimes that person is you. You tell yourself you aren’t good enough, life stinks, and things will never change. Those negative messages steal your happiness and your contentment. They urge you to do things you might regret and remind you of how you just aren’t good enough.

Where do these negative messages come from? Why are they so hard on you and carry such a negative tone? If you saw someone on the street talking to himself, you might step off the sidewalk to give a wide berth. You’d probably label that person crazy, but we talk to ourselves all day long and we don’t think anything about it!

Our internal voices often defeat us before we even start a task. They point out all the pitfalls and problems and zap our energy.

You probably wouldn’t allow another person to talk to you the way you talk to yourself. You’d be appalled if your best friend said the things to you that you take for granted as they pass through your own consciousness!

If you lack energy, feel defeated or angry some days, and generally have a sense of malaise, maybe it is time to deal with your inner voices – or exchange them for friendlier messages. While it may seem automatic and natural to speak so negatively to yourself, you can stop the self-talk that drains your energy and return to a more powerful self.

Try these three steps to get back to your powerful self:

1.   Recognize the negative messages you tell yourself and make them go away.

First, acknowledge the negativity. Notice when you feel stressed, sad, defeated or angry. What is causing that negative emotion? Your negativity is likely a reaction to an event or a condition focused on a specific event. Be aware this negativity exists and how it affects you.

2.   Once you hear the negative messages, start talking back.

Tell your negative internal voices: “I don’t need you.” “You aren’t welcome here.” Treat them as if they are outsiders who wandered into your brain. Mentally speak to them and tell them to leave.

3.   Speak to yourself in a positive way.

This can be different self-talk for different situations. For example, your negative self-talk may kick in when aggressive drivers cut you off in traffic. Do you start talking to yourself about rude people in the world and how everything is going to pot as a result? Replace that negative self-talk with something like: “I’m just driving to a destination. Other drivers don’t affect me,” or “What other people do has no bearing on how I react and feel. I control my reactions and emotions.” Be prepared and have your positive self-talk in gear before you need it.

Words are powerful. They trigger our emotions and impact how we react, feel, and respond. The words we tell ourselves are just as powerful as the words someone else might say to us. Be mindful of your words and tame your negative self-talk. You have the control to do it.

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Beverly D. Flaxington

Beverly D. Flaxington, The Human Behavior Coach®, MBA, is a three-time bestselling and Gold-award winning author, international speaker, successful entrepreneur, business consultant, executive coach, Certified Hypnotherapist, college professor, corporate trainer, facilitator, and Certified Behavioral Analyst. She has created trademarked success models, is often interviewed and quoted on her views. She is also a mother of three children and actively involved in animal rescue. Learn more about her at

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NotNowMomsBusy October 2, 2015 at 10:55 am

Wonderful advice Beverly. I used to let my negative thoughts consume me but once I learned how to stop them by doing what you suggested here, I can go a whole day without thinking one negative thing. 🙂

Passing this on to share your advice with others! Have a great day and weekend.