How’s your love life? Revved up and romantic? Or blah and meh?
When life is busy (and isn’t it always?), making the time for love can just feel like another thing to add to your endless to do list. Well baby, you need to stop right there and reframe. Staying connected isn’t another chore. It’s an essential long-term investment.
And it doesn’t always mean a lot of time or effort. Check out these easy ways to feel more connected to your man.
Find time every day to talk. Really listen and make eye contact. Even ten minutes is enough to have an effect.
Establish finite family time.
It can be easy to let family life seep late into your evenings. Give your family your all until 9pm (or earlier if your kids are younger) and then have your little ones tucked in, lights out and any older children shipped off to their rooms (teenagers will most likely be there already). Then snuggle up and chill out together.
Remember the early days? THAT feeling in your tummy? Make the effort to bring it back. Set up babysitting swaps with a friend then get out and have some kiddie free fun with your man. Meet him for lunch. If it’s sunny, go for a walk. See a movie, a band. Play tennis. Dance. Take turns to choose so you’re not doing all the organizing. Have fun.
No babysitter? No excuse!
Plan date a night in your own front room. Choose something to cook together or order in. Spread a blanket in front of the fire (if it’s summer or you don’t have a fireplace, light a lot of candles!). Put on a great playlist of your songs. Pull out a bottle of wine and be you again.
Do regular stuff together.
Connecting with each other doesn’t just have to be about creating romantic scenarios. Look for easy everyday stuff to do together. Share a shower or a bath. Fold the laundry with each other. Most importantly, go to bed together. You can’t connect when one of you is downstairs in front of the TV!
Commit random acts of affection.
Physical touch is so important. Kiss hello. Kiss goodbye. Hug each other. Hold hands when you’re out walking. Give a back rub or a foot rub. The more you feel with your hands the more you feel with your heart.
Sign up for a class together.
Try something new – tennis, yoga, cooking, first aid, wine appreciation, tango classes. Learning a new skill together makes you feel connected and releases oxytocin in the brain – one of the main chemicals that made you feel aflutter when you just started dating.
Plan a great getaway.
When did you both last have time away from the children? Last month? Last year? Never? Sit together and scour websites, devour brochures and devise your dream kiddie free break. Even if you don’t have the time or money right now, it’ll inspire you and give you something to work towards.
Set goals together.
What are your dreams and ambitions? What are his? Inspire and encourage each other. Plan individual and joint goals to make sure you stay on the same page. Being accountable to each other makes them more likely to actually happen.
Don’t just think it, say it.
If one of your friends looked amazing, you’d tell her – right? Do the same for your guy. Say: Thank you. I love you. You look great today. I really appreciate you doing the cleaning, taking the kids to school, etc.
Get in the habit of saying kind, positive, appreciative stuff – every day.
Ever caught yourself in an unexpected mirror and wondered: Who the hell is that miserable mama?
Well that’s the face your partner is looking at! Smile. Lighten up. Be silly. Laugh out loud. Create a positive mood. Research shows if you’re happier about life, you’re more likely to have stronger feelings of love for your man.
Write a love note.
When you’re apart let him know you’re thinking of him. Sending a short sweet text or a flirty email takes a couple of minutes – max. If he’s going away, slip a note in his bag telling him how much he means to you.
Photo source: lightwavemedia, bigstock.com
So ladies, will you try any of these tips? How do you get creative with staying connected?