A Dad’s Point-of-View
I’ve decided to walk into very dangerous waters. It’s not that I haven’t done it before, especially when I “took on” the Occupy movement! That generated a ton of comments and a whole lotta controversy. Taking on those “protesters” is easy in comparison with takin’ on the moms! Truly this is more about the differences between moms and dads and how they manifest in the blogging community.
Okay, I’m not really that brave! I chose the title of this column for purely provocative reasons because I don’t believe mom and dad bloggers are at odds at all ! However, I do believe that we are different in the same way I always write and talk about the inherent differences between men and women. It’s my belief that we should acknowledge and celebrate our differences.
In the case of mom and dad bloggers, there really are a lot of differences. Most of them relate to our respective gender views on life and many are because of demographics, which I’ll explain later. There is no good and bad here nor any attempt to do anything other than expose these differences and maybe reflect and learn from them.
Given that I’ve been prone to writing lists ever since becoming a contributing writer to 12Most.com, I will approach this topic in list fashion. This list is completely arbitrary, in no order of importance, and I want to be clear that every stereotype here is just that – a stereotype, meaning it may be generally true but there are always exceptions.
- Mom bloggers are much better established in the blogosphere, with brands, and among themselves. They probably outnumber dad bloggers by more than 15 to 1 – my unscientific study – and even more so when you consider those that do it full-time.
- Dad bloggers invariably have “day jobs” and hope, in many cases, their blogging will lead to enough income that they can give up their “day job.”
- There are many more single mom bloggers than single dad bloggers. Do not ask me to verify this!
- It seems that mom bloggers have both better networking skills between themselves and more infighting going on. The dads are still getting to know one another and I rarely hear of a “cat fight” between us, though I hear of them often from my many mom blogger friends.
- Mom bloggers are making much more money at it than the dads – so far. It may never equalize, because as un-politically correct as it may be, women are more likely to be the stay-at-home-parent than men and are inherently more interested in their mom community than many of the dads. Again, this is a stereotype, but I assert it’s largely true.
- Dad bloggers are playing at it more than the mom bloggers. What I mean by that is that most dad bloggers do their blogging and Social Media as an outlet and hobby while more mom bloggers take it very seriously AND as a source of income.
- The brands are finally beginning to recognize that dads and dad bloggers exist and may even participate in buying decisions. Hollywood has also begun to see us as more than just Homer Simpson or Al Bundy goofballs. Will our portrayal on screen or recognition on Madison Avenue ever equal the lofty status of moms? I doubt it.
- I know of very few full-time dad bloggers. I know of tons of full-time mom bloggers who are not only making money but also making a difference. I do believe we dad bloggers are making a difference, but ironically the dads are confronting a new “glass ceiling” in work and income. Turnabout is only fair, yes?
- Mom bloggers are a tad more sensitive than the dads. By that, I mean that if you say the least bit of a derogative thing to a mom or about moms, they will crush you. The dads take things a bit more in stride. This is reflective of how men and women relate with their same sex friends. Men will greet each other with a “Hey dude, you sure are ugly!” and get “Love you too, man” in response. In total contrast, women will never say, “Honey, did you gain weight recently?” or anything resembling a put-down, ever!
- Again, I can’t prove this, but there is anecdotal evidence that SAHMs (stay at home moms) have no problem declaring themselves as such, while some SAHDs will only describe their dad role as “temporary” or that they are between jobs. Consequently, I believe the stats on SAHDs and SAHMs may not be fully accurate. We know there are and probably always will be more moms that stay home, but we’ll never know the true numbers.
I wonder about this last point more out of curiosity than any agenda, because I don’t really care who stays home. In my opinion, it should come down to two simple factors if a family can even afford to have a stay-at-home parent. One is practical: who makes the most money? The other, if money/income isn’t an issue, who most wants to stay home with the kids?
I welcome your thoughts and comments. Are these points shocking or expected based on the typical nature of each gender?