Ugh. Mommy guilt. Will it ever go away? Here’s the scoop about guilt. Guilt reinforces this idea that who we are as Moms is not okay. It diminishes our self-confidence and self-respect. Guilt makes you feel like you are undeserving and it holds you back from being who you were created to be. Besides, it starts this vicious cycle of guilt that is hard to break. I’m giving you 20 things you definitely don’t need to feel guilty about. Now that’s a whole lot of guilt you can say good-bye to!
Do not feel guilty that you:
1. Can’t afford to buy your child the latest designer clothes or technological gadgets. Too much material stuff spoils your children anyway.
2. Pick up restaurant take-out because you are rushed for time or you don’t feel like cooking. An occasional help with dinner makes your child (and you) happy!
3. Feel frustrated because you have heard your child say “Mom” 1000 times in one day. Moms don’t have an endless supply of emotional availability.
4. Give your husband quickie sex. Kids have been pawing at your body all day.
5. Aren’t hosting the Christmas party because you’d rather work out. A Mom that gets exercise feels better about herself, and you will be a better Mom when your kids are home.
6. Didn’t sign your kids up for travel sports or that they aren’t involved in multiple extracurricular activities. Home is where the love is at anyway.
7. Are a working Mom or a stay at home Mom. There are all kinds of Moms and all of you love your children.
8. Aren’t a perfect Mom. Many spiritual experts would say everyone is already perfect, so that is one expert opinion you can hang your hat on.
9. Miss one of your child’s dance recitals. You will be present for most of her activities and that is what she will remember.
10. Took a nap instead of cleaned the house. A rested Mom is more productive, so you’ll clean twice as fast when you do clean.
11. Spend an evening with your girlfriends rather than play monster trucks. Our girlfriends ground us and help us stay connected to the women we were before we had kids.
12. Spend more time with one child than the other. Children of different ages and stages have different needs for attention. Plus, it’s quality time that matters most.
13. Let your child watch a TV show while you check out what’s happening on Facebook or Twitter. Both of you are enjoying yourself, right? Neither one of you are going to spend the next four hours glued to the screen (or at least you shouldn’t!).
14. Want to sleep in on Sunday. Dad and the kids need some special bonding time without Mom.
15. Are sick and you do absolutely nothing all day. Moms have limits too. This gives the rest of your family an opportunity to practice their nurturing skills.
16. Take a day off work just to spend the day with your child. Other people take days off work, so why can’t you?
17. Cry in front of your children. It shows your children that you have feelings too and helps them learn empathy.
18. Don’t have a perfectly clean house. Just make up a sign that says “My house is never clean, but I have the love and joy of children.”
19. Lose your temper with your children sometimes. It shows them that everyone makes mistakes and gives you an opportunity to teach them how to say, “I’m sorry.”
20. Pursue your own personal interests. It’s not healthy for you or your kids to revolve your whole world around them 100% of the time.
Editor’s note: We agree with your comments that McDonalds and most fast food restaurants are not a healthy choice for take-out. We’ve revised the article to reflect “restaurant take-out” on item #2 as you know what’s best for you and your family!
What’s one thing you’ve learned not to feel guilty about? Tell us in the comment section below!
Other articles you might like:
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Zap mommy guilt and enjoy motherhood
Raise happier kids by making a happier you: The trickle-down theory
Motherhood: It’s OK to be clueless
3 Tips for getting rid of mom guilt for good (your own good)
Teach your children the importance of taking time for yourself
5 Ways to prevent parenting burnout
6 Ways every mom should start the day
Thinking other moms’ homes are neater than yours?
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Totally agree!!!!!! Wonderful article!!! -Liana
Great article Lori! It’s amazing how many things we need to be reminded NOT to feel guilty about. I interviewed Chrysula Winegar, a work-life balance specialist, yesterday for my blog. She brought up this very subject while weighing in on the new TIME cover, and had some positive things to say about guilt as well. I appreciated her insight a lot.
Great post. So much that we as moms feel guilty for. We need to stop beating ourselves up. That’s just wasted energy.
I agree with all of this except McDonalds. That stuff is horrible, really. Don’t feed it to your children. Buy a yogurt or a banana or a bowl of plain spaghetti with butter — your child will love all of those just as much as a Happy Meal.
When I’m lying on my deathbed I might regret not ice skating, doing yoga, traveling, playing pretend games or mounting climbing more, I might regret not doing more with my career, spending more time with girl friends, husband, child family and so on. I know i will NOT wish that i spent more time cleaning. If there is a more appealing option, I always take it.
Thank you. That makes me feel a lot better.
Love this post! I know I feel guilty no matter what I do – so I’m glad to read this post 🙂
Amen! I especially love the part about sleeping in. Bonding is good too!
This is great but i DO think a person should feel guilty about letting their child have McDonalds… poison is never ok. I’d rather give my child healthy packaged snacks (than fast food garbage) – like a clif zbar and a gogo applesauce pouch… and it’s faster than drive thru!
I feel guilty about not having taken a day off of work to spend it with my child.
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